The Scientist

Any of you who know me probably also know that I do not do "good-byes" notoriously well. Well, I haven't even said goodbye in Austria, yet (I have about three hours to go) and I am already not doing well. Blame it on lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, complete emotional exhaustion or just a really tender heart. Whatever it may be, I have already cried at least once this morning thinking about having to leave and am beginning to again, as I write this. This trip has been absolutely indescribable, really. And I am really ready to go home. I am ready for normal showers (not with windows in the bathroom or showers in the kitchen), I am ready for my bed (not plywood or a couch), I am ready to return to Starbucks and my regulars (not sleeping any time I have no rehearsal or concert to play), I am ready to drive my car (not ride 4-8 hours in a bus, plane or train), I am ready to go to small group and ready to see my parents and ready to go back to church (not just listen to their sermons while sitting next to teenagers making out on the plane).
But I am not ready to leave. I am not ready to leave quaint little Europe, it's architecture, it's lighting and it's history. I am not ready to leave new friends with potential depth of friendship, or at least really great music making. I am not ready to leave really high quality food. I am not ready to leave life on my own. Most of all, I am not ready to leave my good friend Christian. He has been a constant encouragement to me since I met him 5 years ago in England. We have had some of the most amazing conversations full of honesty and depth and vulnerability and truth. Which we tend to follow with a ridiculous question about the merits of farting. Truly.
It's time for me to begin transitioning back into "the real world," but it's times like this that truly make me long for Heaven, because I do not like to be parted from my friends for long, especially not really good, true friends. The kind who stick closer than a brother.
I would like to encourage you, today, or sometime, to call up a friend, or write them a letter (I really like letter writing ... they can also then keep it to refer back to later) and remind them that you love them and what impact they have made on your life. We all need to be reminded every now and again.

But I must say, after re-reading this, it sounds like he died. But he hasn't. So I do have the hope of hanging out with him again relatively soon, like, this summer when he comes back to the States for his sister's wedding or when I hopefully go to Finland again for Halo. *phew* Smile's back on my face.

I don't know what song can sum up my feelings best, but I'll go with Natasha Bedingfield's rendition of "The Scientist." Also here's a photo of Christian and Michael taken by Christian's neighbor from a pre-Christmas party in Austria.


The Scientist
(original by Coldplay; cover by Natasha Bedingfield)

Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
Ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads only science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

(Take me back to the start)

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Oh, oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Oh running in circles
Chasing our tails
Oh coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
I'm going back to the start

(I'm going back to you, yeah
Oh, oh yeah
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back to you
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back to the place where I first loved you ...)