Maybe Tonight

I might have a problem. I'm afraid I try to make people what I want them to be, instead of letting them be who they are or who they want to be. I was just looking through some pictures of friends on Facebook (of course) and it made me think that maybe they're afraid to be who they really are around me. And maybe I don't let them be who they are, because I want them to be something else. That's not very nice of me, now, is it? I don't do it on purpose. Maybe it comes out of pride. Because I value my image of them more than themselves. I hope I can pay more attention to this in my interactions with people. And hopefully that attention will cause whatever I'm doing to make them feel that way decrease. I judge too much, maybe. Yes, yes I do.

On a happier, but stranger, note. It's been feeling a lot more like Christmas to me lately. More so than it did leading up to Christmas. Way more so than it did on Christmas since we were in China, and Christmas there ... maybe they celebrate it, but it seemed like they really just decorated for it and then skipped over the celebration part. Then again, the orchestra spent all Christmas day traveling and playing a concert. We did have a party though. Probably the first Christmas I ever 1. peed in a hole (shortly after midnight, as part of a 6+-hour bus ride to Beijing) and 2. experienced salsa dancing. I wish I could say I actually salsa danced, but I didn't. Just wanted the rest of the orchestra. But still. First Christmas party I've ever been to where there was salsa dancing. Thanks Spain!

So I've been listening to Relevant Magazine's "The Drop" this evening. It's this great streaming service from their website. They choose an album every few weeks and stream the entire thing on their website for free. It's pretty great. Since I've been feeling pretty Christmas-y lately, I thought it apropos that one of the artists I found on this said website was Carl-Eric Tangen, whose album is reflecting on Advent and Christmas. So tonight's lyrics are from one of his songs. The picture is from Graz one night that Christian and I went walking. It was a delightful evening, if difficult.

Schlossberg in Graz on a winter night.

Maybe Tonight

Fair thee well
This cold, cold heart is down by one
Seafaring man
Such as my father said that you would come
Maybe tonight, maybe tonight

Angelic flight
Are you hovering o'er me tonight?
Cause I see the fog
Caused by my breath in the beam of a broken light
Sometime maybe tonight
Sometime maybe tonight

See the star
Shining brighter than anything before
Men from afar
And from the hills come running to sing along
Sometime maybe tonight
Sometime maybe tonight

You are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are the thing that reminds that I'm alive

And you are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are the thing that reminds me I'm alive
And you are the road that I travel down at night
Still you are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are the thing that reminds me I'm alive
Maybe tonight, maybe tonight