Alphabutt

I am finally home. In Muncie. In my bed. My real bed. Where just down the hall is my bathroom. My bathroom with a porcelain toilet, a shower curtain, a tub, soap, and no windows. I kid you not, I am so relieved to be back in the land of acceptable bathrooms. (Yup, I know that pun's there.) This is the thing I am most excited about. Yes. It's great to be back with my family, and my car and my church and my friends and my work. But mostly (and please don't be offended) it's great to be back to private all-encompassing bathrooms. The bathrooms in China. Sub-par, except on occasion. Mostly, they're squat toilets. Read: hole in the floor. They smell. They don't have toilet paper. They don't have soap. They're terribly uncomfortable. Even in the nice hotels where they do have actual porcelain commodes, the bathrooms will also have some sort of awkward window so that if the light is on in the bathroom, the person in the bedroom can see into the bathroom and if the light is on in the bedroom, the person in the bathroom can see into the bedroom. It's really weird. I thought I had more to say, but I don't. I'm just glad to be back to American bathrooms. So here are a couple of pictures. Don't worry, they're not obscene. No one's IN the bathroom.

The symbol on the door indicates whether it has a seat toilet or only a squat toilet.

Ahem.
It's not a toilet or bathroom related, but it IS the Emerald City made out of ice. And it is cool.

In honor of the subject matter of this post. An ode to childhood by Kimya Dawson.

Alphabutt
Kimya Dawson

A is for apple
B is for butt
C is for catbutt
D is for doo doo
E is for elephant doo doo
F is for fart
G is for gorilla fart
H is for huge gorilla fart
I is for eyeball
J is for jammies
K is for kid fart
L is for loud and long farts
M is for monkey butt
N is for saying nite nite to neko at nap time
O is for Oh!
P is for panda peeing and pooping in her potty while papa plays peek a boo
Q is for quebert
R is for robotic monkey who's going to take over the world
S is for stinky
T is for turd
U is for uh oh
V is for flying V
W is for wee wee
X exactomundo
Y is for yuckie and yummy and you
and Z is for farts that smell like the zoo