Your Love is Strong

Just a short note before I go to bed.

I really like God and I'm really enjoying reading His Scriptures these last couple of days. My reading has me going through Leviticus right now and it's true, it's full of rules. But at the same time, the rules are a lot of the time common sense principles (i.e. don't sleep with your daughter) and guidelines for living in community (i.e. do not murder, do not twist justice to favor the poor or the rich). But they also say so much, I think, about the LORD and what He considers important. He really thinks of a lot of things. Like He knows there are going to be poor people. No matter what. Soooo, He makes provision for them. He instructs the farmers not to glean everything out of their fields. When they drop something, leave it. Don't go back and pick it up. Don't take every bunch of grapes from the vine. Leave some. The poor will come and take it. Don't be greedy. It's also different from a straight-up hand out, though. The poor still have to come along and do the work of searching the field for what has been left behind. See? So much he thinks of! Then there are the random ones like "don't trim the hair of your temples or your beards." I don't get that one. But it must be important.

Side note: homosexuality is thrown in there right alongside don't sleep with your daughter or granddaughter or stepmother ... as in ... it's true, it's not how we were designed to be, it's not wholeness and it is sin against yourself and the other person ... but it is NOT in bold letters. It is not in all caps. There are no hashmarks indicating a trending topic (re: twitter). It's there. Very clearly. But it's also very clear that it's the same as all the rest. Just don't do it. If you do, when you do screw up, the steps for reconciliation and atonement have all been laid out already.

God thinks of everything.

Jon Foreman's "Your Love is Strong" has been running through my head ever since we sang it in church yesterday. What gets me the most is a variation on the Lord's prayer which he launches into very passionately. It's a poignant moment of the song. You should check it out.

"Two things You told me

That You are strong

And You love me

Yes, You love me

Your Love is, Your Love is, Your Love is

Strong

Our God in Heaven hallowed by They name above all names

Your kingdom come Your will be done

On Earth as it is in Heaven

Give us today our daily bread

Forgive us weary sinners

Keep us far from our vices

And deliver us from these prisons ..."

Amen.

Behind Your Eyes

I've been having great trouble getting myself to sit down and write. It's frustrating because I really want to but then it seems there's something else I should be doing. Or I can't make myself be still enough inside to sit. Or whatever reason there is. Then by the time I finally can or do sit down with my computer to write, whatever I had thought of and wrestled with or needed to wrestle with has gone. And my soul has gone to sleep a little bit. So I think, to get into the habit of typing and sitting every day, I will try to just put up a song that has stuck me that particular day. At least for a time. Maybe this will encourage my soul to wake up a little ... and stay awake.
I think it tends to be my defense mechanism to go to sleep. When I get overwhelmed, I generally just want to go to sleep. When I get sad, I just want to go to sleep. Whatever happens, I sleep. So this must also be my soul's defense mechanism. I feel alone and surprised and ashamed of that feeling, so my soul goes to sleep. I wrestle a little, don't have time or can't work it out, so it hibernates. Maybe just getting into the habit of listening and typing will help me have courage to come out into the daylight.

Not to mention, whatever song strikes me on a particular day, is generally with reason ... it resonates with some part of me for some reason. The music I am listening to is a pretty accurate description of what place I happen to be in at that time.

Today's song is again by Jon Foreman:

Behind Your Eyes
Jon Foreman

If you let your feelings go, dear
It's scary what you'll find
I find I'm on your street, dear
And you're always on my mind

And no one needs to know
That you let me in tonight
That you let me see the world behind your eyes
Behind your eyes

I want to see us work, dear
To reach the other side
Our treachery is love, dear
We're on both ends of the fight, dear

We're fighting for ourselves
We're fighting for our lives
Won't you let me see the world behind your eyes
Behind your eyes

And no one needs to know
How scared we are tonight
Won't you let me see the world
Won't you let me see the world
Behind your eyes
Won't you let me see the world
Behind your eyes
Behind your eyes

Love Isn't Made

So many thoughts have occurred to me in the past couple of days, since leaving Ginland and coming home. I've thought about writing this blog frequently, but haven't been able to do it. I knew I would forget all my thoughts by the time I sat down, and indeed I have. But we'll see what comes out anyway.

I had the most marvelous drive from Maryland to Indiana after Greg and Anna's wedding. Generally when I have a drive like that I end up using the time to call old friends and catch up. I didn't call a single person until the last two hours or so. I talked to one friend who called me, and for everyone else I left a message. It was great to spend that time in silence, or singing along with my music loudly, processing what happened in the last month, trying to prepare for the next ... life, listening to God. It was really just delightful.

While I was driving, I thought about all the different things I wanted to do when I was a kid. So, since I can't think of anything profound to say, I'll just list all the different things I wanted to do ... at least all the ones i can think of now.

*astronaut
*large animal vet
*small animal vet
*zoo keeper
*garbage collector
*park ranger
*teacher
*nurse
*bus driver
*semi-truck driver
*dolphin trainer
*professional athlete (gymnast, soccer player, basketball star)
*professional musician
*writer
*bookstore owner
*Greenpeace worker

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.
I've been listening to a lot of Jon Foreman recently, so here are some lyrics from one of his songs.

Love Isn't Made

An hour ago
I felt so low
I almost drowned
Driving around
This messed up town
It's pretty, it's only
I felt so lonely
And I knew all night
I'd never find a face
That could understand
How much I miss you now

And so I arrive
At the conclusion
Love isn't made
Love doesn't sell or pay
But we buy and sell our love away

Escape to the water
I stare up at
The stars and moon and sky
I was lying on my back
With my fingers in the sand
Alone in Miami
It sounds so funny
And yet here I am
It's funny how life
Is seldom what you plan

And so I arrive at the conclusion
Love isn't made
Love doesn't sell or pay
But we buy and sell our love away

Don't let the panic bring you down
Don't let the panic bring you down
(Don't let it bring you down)
Don't let the panic bring you down

Love isn't made

Don't let the panic bring you down
How could we have let this go?
Don't let the panic bring you down
How could we have almost lost it all?
Don't let the panic bring you down
Don't let the panic bring you down
Don't let the panic bring you down
How could we've forgotten?
Love isn't made