I've been having great trouble getting myself to sit down and write. It's frustrating because I really want to but then it seems there's something else I should be doing. Or I can't make myself be still enough inside to sit. Or whatever reason there is. Then by the time I finally can or do sit down with my computer to write, whatever I had thought of and wrestled with or needed to wrestle with has gone. And my soul has gone to sleep a little bit. So I think, to get into the habit of typing and sitting every day, I will try to just put up a song that has stuck me that particular day. At least for a time. Maybe this will encourage my soul to wake up a little ... and stay awake.
I think it tends to be my defense mechanism to go to sleep. When I get overwhelmed, I generally just want to go to sleep. When I get sad, I just want to go to sleep. Whatever happens, I sleep. So this must also be my soul's defense mechanism. I feel alone and surprised and ashamed of that feeling, so my soul goes to sleep. I wrestle a little, don't have time or can't work it out, so it hibernates. Maybe just getting into the habit of listening and typing will help me have courage to come out into the daylight.
Not to mention, whatever song strikes me on a particular day, is generally with reason ... it resonates with some part of me for some reason. The music I am listening to is a pretty accurate description of what place I happen to be in at that time.
Today's song is again by Jon Foreman:
Behind Your Eyes
Jon Foreman
If you let your feelings go, dear
It's scary what you'll find
I find I'm on your street, dear
And you're always on my mind
And no one needs to know
That you let me in tonight
That you let me see the world behind your eyes
Behind your eyes
I want to see us work, dear
To reach the other side
Our treachery is love, dear
We're on both ends of the fight, dear
We're fighting for ourselves
We're fighting for our lives
Won't you let me see the world behind your eyes
Behind your eyes
And no one needs to know
How scared we are tonight
Won't you let me see the world
Won't you let me see the world
Behind your eyes
Won't you let me see the world
Behind your eyes
Behind your eyes
