Truth beats Self-Pity

I have a tendency toward self-pity; I don't know if you've noticed that. I really seemed to notice it tonight, when I was sitting in the auditorium that is my new church, waiting for the service to start, when the lights go down and no one passing by will notice that I've come to church alone. So God opened my eyes to this self-pity and I prayed that He would move my mind away from that, away from myself and move it to the bigness of Him, of His love, of His purpose. And then we started singing. And we sang songs about the wonder of God, about the sovereignty of God, about His strength and His presence as our fortress, our refuge. And the worship was uplifting, even if I was standing by myself singing, I wasn't singing alone (although that didn't occur to me until right now) ... the point was, I was singing. And what it was that I was singing was True. When the singing ended and the lights came up, we greeted those around us, and two of the four people I know at the church now (two of the four people I met at women's group on Thursday) were standing within greeting distance from me. And I was comforted. And the sermon was good, there were things in it for me to chew on ... like "God is more present in the goodbyes than the hellos" speaking of Joseph in the Old Testament ... And then we sang again, more Truth.

Rob Bell at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan, has given a couple of sermons about why we sing, and he always makes the point that sometimes we sing not because we feel like it, but because we want to feel like it; and sometimes we sing because we just need to have Truth come across our lips. And sometimes that's just enough, because that's where we are. And that's a little bit where I was tonight. And I can say now, from experience, that having Truth on your lips, really does make a difference in the things that are on your mind. I don't know which comes first, but I do know that they're related.

Nothing But The Blood

While preparing for communion today and reflecting on the meaning of world communion Sunday, I thought of all the saints around the world gathering at one table. I remembered the dinner at the mökki on Pauliina's birthday. Heaven will be like that. But the table will be longer, the laughter will be louder, and the tears will be more. Today, that day, were just previews.

Worship was particularly unifying this morning. It was marvelous. Words can't really grasp it. We sang this hymn today and Cliff had so much fun singing it, pausing in some places, speeding up in others, etc. etc. And we went all right along with him. It really felt like we were all being worship leaders, the people on the stage part of the circle just happened to have instruments and microphones. As it should be, I think. Community was good today.


Nothing but the Blood

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! Precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow
No other fount I know
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my cleansing, this my plea
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Nothing can for sin atone
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
Naught of good that I have done
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

This is all my hope and peace
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my righteousness
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Now by this I'll overcome
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Now by this I'll reach my home
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Glory! Glory! This I sing
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
All my praise for this I bring,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Love Waits

I think as musicians we must all struggle at some time or another with worshiping music.
It is so beautiful, and affective, so good, it seems worthy of being worshiped.
As a Christian this is a problem, because we know we are to worship nothing but the one God, the LORD Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I love music so much that I want to put it in that place of highest esteem. But in thruth, this is not loving music at all. To love something truly is to put it and keep it in its right place.

If I truly love my fish (I'm sorry this is a horrible example), I will not take it out of its tank to carry it with me wherever I go. That would kill the fish. If I truly love it, I will leave it in its proper place, where it lives and thrives, where it will have a future.

If I truly love music, I ought not elevate it to the place of LORD in my life. This will only lead eventually to dischord (no pun intended), disappointment and resentment. When I put music in that place of God, I will then look to it for things I would look to God for. And music cannot provide those things. I will then be angry with music for not fulfilling my hopes. Now do I still love music? No, now I resent music. Our relationship is broken because the expectations were excessive and preposterous. If I really love music, which I do, then I leave it in its place of "really awesome" and messenger of God's worthiness, and love for me.

Music, please understand me when I do not elevate you to the status of God. It is not because I don't want to or I don't love you, in fact, I DO want to (after all, I understand you much better than I do God), but I leave you where you are because that is your place, your home in a sense, and where you belong. Because I love you, I will not worship you.


This song is actually called "Speak to me Gently," but I originally knew it as "Love Waits" which I frequently need reminded of, and oftentimes like better ...

Love Waits
future of forestry

sadness and rhyme
these are the times
these are the memories
we find a way
pushing through the day
so speak to me gently

can you just feel the time
falling from some place new?
can you just feel the sign?
love waits for you
love waits for you

i'm searching the stars
in desparate hours
bound to find meaning
God shows a face
in this desolate place
and tenderness meets me

can you just feel the time
falling from some place new?
can you just feel the sign?
love waits for you

stories untold
of redwoods grown old
reside in the forest
and there you can hear
a whispering tear
that speaks into our loneliness

can you just feel the time
falling from some place new?
can you just feel the sing?
love waits for you
love waits for you