Truth beats Self-Pity

I have a tendency toward self-pity; I don't know if you've noticed that. I really seemed to notice it tonight, when I was sitting in the auditorium that is my new church, waiting for the service to start, when the lights go down and no one passing by will notice that I've come to church alone. So God opened my eyes to this self-pity and I prayed that He would move my mind away from that, away from myself and move it to the bigness of Him, of His love, of His purpose. And then we started singing. And we sang songs about the wonder of God, about the sovereignty of God, about His strength and His presence as our fortress, our refuge. And the worship was uplifting, even if I was standing by myself singing, I wasn't singing alone (although that didn't occur to me until right now) ... the point was, I was singing. And what it was that I was singing was True. When the singing ended and the lights came up, we greeted those around us, and two of the four people I know at the church now (two of the four people I met at women's group on Thursday) were standing within greeting distance from me. And I was comforted. And the sermon was good, there were things in it for me to chew on ... like "God is more present in the goodbyes than the hellos" speaking of Joseph in the Old Testament ... And then we sang again, more Truth.

Rob Bell at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan, has given a couple of sermons about why we sing, and he always makes the point that sometimes we sing not because we feel like it, but because we want to feel like it; and sometimes we sing because we just need to have Truth come across our lips. And sometimes that's just enough, because that's where we are. And that's a little bit where I was tonight. And I can say now, from experience, that having Truth on your lips, really does make a difference in the things that are on your mind. I don't know which comes first, but I do know that they're related.

Character vs. Plot

My church is doing a sermon series on Story. Part of the influence is Donald Miller's new book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. And driving that book is the idea that if you're life doesn't make a good story, it doesn't make much of a life either. As in, if someone were making a movie of your life, or compacting your life into a novel, would it be interesting? Strange question, I guess. I sort of figure everyone's life would be interesting, or at least they think it would be, since it's their life, and they chose it and all. But maybe I'm wrong. I think mine would be interesting, mostly.

Anyway. Last week we talked about plot vs. character. Your life, your story, is not only about what you do and what happens to you. What makes a really good story is the character. And the idea that plot comes out of character. Character first, then plot. So the question this week via twitter was: "How could living with focus on the character instead of the plot relieve stress/pressure in your life?"

So if you're thinking about who you become instead of what happens, it takes focus off something you don't have control over and puts it on something in your hands. That's a little bit of a relief right? But maybe a little bit more pressure too, because it's something you can do something about. So you'd better do it right.

But I think it's less pressure. Or less unnecessary pressure at least.

Day 4 of Lent. No cheating that I know of. But today was a hard day. I really wanted cookies or chocolate. Haven't done all the reading I wanted to do though. The Book of Common Prayer is a little monotonous to me ... sorry. I hate to say it, but it's true.

Crazy day tomorrow. Time now for bed.

Nothing But The Blood

While preparing for communion today and reflecting on the meaning of world communion Sunday, I thought of all the saints around the world gathering at one table. I remembered the dinner at the mökki on Pauliina's birthday. Heaven will be like that. But the table will be longer, the laughter will be louder, and the tears will be more. Today, that day, were just previews.

Worship was particularly unifying this morning. It was marvelous. Words can't really grasp it. We sang this hymn today and Cliff had so much fun singing it, pausing in some places, speeding up in others, etc. etc. And we went all right along with him. It really felt like we were all being worship leaders, the people on the stage part of the circle just happened to have instruments and microphones. As it should be, I think. Community was good today.


Nothing but the Blood

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! Precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow
No other fount I know
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my cleansing, this my plea
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Nothing can for sin atone
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
Naught of good that I have done
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

This is all my hope and peace
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my righteousness
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Now by this I'll overcome
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Now by this I'll reach my home
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Glory! Glory! This I sing
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
All my praise for this I bring,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.