Hymn #101

Okay, so. Since the LORD told me over this summer that I will be single until I'm thirty. And now that I've accepted this to be truth, it has occurred to me that maybe I should begin to think about starting to answer the inevitable follow-up question which is, of course ...

"What do I do until then?"

I don't know. I haven't really any idea how God wants to use me in the course of these next five years, or so. Why is He keeping me this way until then? For what purpose?

Writing my novel. I've gotten to approximately 6,299 words. Still a few thousand behind where the daily average should be, but it's going well. Today was a little difficult ... I got words in, but I'm not sure they make sense. Previous days have been fun adventures learning things about these characters. I scoffed at people who said they take on a life of their own ... but it's true! I don't know these people at all ... they're surprising me. And yet, I know them intimately because each one of them has parts of me -- for better or for worse. Maybe God feels a little bit this way ... only whatever part of us is part of Him is for better ... never for worse.

Also. Ponder this:

"You have a responsibility to God to learn the desires of your heart."

My friend Pauliina said that. Well, skyped that. Typed that. And even then, I KNOW it was Jesus through her fingers.

I guess that statement is the beginning of the answer to the question I posed earlier. If I learn the desires of my heart, that just may lead me to my purpose in the next five years.

Either way, I think it's an awesome thought and I'm enjoying just enjoying the thought ... not even completely working it out, yet. I know things will get worked out as they should. No worries.

Check out this next song. It can be found on YouTube. It's great!

Hymn #101

Joe Pug

And I've come to know the wish list of my father
I've come to know the shipwrecks where he's been
I've come to wish allow
Among the overdressed crowd
Come to witness now the sinking of this ship
Throwing pennies from the sea top next to it

And I've come to roam the forest
Past the village
With a dozen lazy horses in my cart
I've come here to get high
To do more than just get by
I've come to test the timber of my heart
Oh I've come to test the timber of my heart

And I've come
To be untroubled in my seeking
And I've come
To see that nothing is for not
I've come to reach out blind
To reach forward and behind
For the more I seek
The more I'm sought
Yea the more I seek
The more I'm sought

And I've come to meet the sheriff
And his posse
To offer him the broad side of my jaw
I've come here to get broke
And maybe bum a smoke
We'll go drinking two towns over after all
Oh we'll go drinking two towns over after all

And I've come to meet the legendary takers
I've only come to ask them for a lot
Aw they say I come with less
Than I should rightfully possess
I say: The more I buy
The more I'm bought
And the more I'm bought
The less I cost

And I've come
To take their servants and their surplus
And I've come
To take their rain coats and their speed
I've come to get my fill
To ransack and spill
I've come to take the harvest for the seed
I've come to take the harvest for the seed

And I've come to know the manger you sleep in
I've come to be the stranger that you keep
I've come from down the road
And my footsteps never slowed
Before we met I knew we'd meet
Before we met I knew we'd meet

And I've come here to ignore you cries and heartaches
I've come to closely listen to you sing
I've come here to insist
That I leave here with a kiss
I've come to say exactly what I mean
And I mean so many things

And you've come
To know me stubborn as a bitcher
And you've come
To know me thankless as a guest
But will you recognize my face
When God's awful grace
Strips me of my jacket and my vest
And reveals all the treasure in my chest.

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

I really apologize for my lack of posting. I am sure you all understand, but still, I have wanted to keep you all updated and informed and aware, but I just haven't been able to. Not to mention I have wanted to keep track of my travels for my own sake. Hopefully this one can bring you up to speed a little bit.
I am still in Hungary at the Summer Institute with the Halo Ensemble. Things are going well but there has been a tension this whole time between the ensemble and the festival. We are technically here as volunteers and our job assignment is to be "dorm parents" but the festival still needs a lot of help in the office and they look to us to get it done. It is great to be needed, but it is terrible when you can't provide the help necessary. As much as they need us to help, we need to be rehearsing. We are giving a concert on our own on Friday and really need to work on the music. So that has been very difficult.
On top of that, personally, if I know I have a move or something else important to do in a week, I start getting anxious to prepare for that thing, so my mind is pretty much already in Finland. So that tension is also present.
As a group a lot has been going on. We played in what's called a Creative Church service and it was a very powerful experience for those participating. It wasn't quite so powerful for me, but it was important in a different way. It was very significant for us as a group and for us to be used by the LORD despite the confusion and lack of preparation. We also learned afterwards that we may have the opportunity to make a cd with a therapist from Austria? Germany? So that is pretty exciting. We just hope it works out that way. We have also as a group had a chance to work privately with this therapist on improvising and worshipping in the Spirit. I personally had a very hard time with this. It brought up a lot of insecurities, but it seemed to be great for the group.
I think that is all I am going to say for now. In general it has been a great trip and again, like MasterWorks, I think I have grown, although not necessarily in ways I can pinpoint.
If you would like to keep me in prayer, I ask for thanksgiving to the LORD for His faithfulness and for prayer for my figurative heart because it seems to be in a couple of different places and I would like for it to return to me. Also pray for rest for me and the group. It is very busy and we are now starting to get very tired.
Thanks for being my friends and for being so wonderful. I do love you all and miss you very much. (Even if I am the only one reading this.)