Growing

First off, let me say ... "growth" as a noun is one of my least favorite words ever. It distresses me greatly. Ew. Growth. Gross.

Now that that's out of the way, shall we continue?

What is this business of growing exactly?
I feel like I can say I've grown significantly over the past year. Not physically. Sadly, that phase is over and done. But emotionally, spiritually, personally. I feel more stable. More well-rounded. More ... boring? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I just have a different definition of fun now. We speak of growing and growth and having grown, but what exactly does that mean? How do we do it? How can we measure it?
How do I know I've grown? Beats me! I haven't the foggiest idea. I haven't necessarily done anything to encourage growth. I haven't stood outside in sunshine and rain alternately. I haven't taken any extra spiritual vitamins. I don't know that my decision-making has necessarily changed all that much, but I do think that decisions are indicative of the growing process. But what about decision-making indicated having grown? The speed with which you make them? The accuracy? The appropriate weight, whatever that means?
What else indicates growth? How well you sleep? How much you read Scripture? How many people like you? How often or seldom you offend people?

What is this thing called growth? And how do we access it? Should we even access it?

Just something I was thinking about at work tonight.

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

I really apologize for my lack of posting. I am sure you all understand, but still, I have wanted to keep you all updated and informed and aware, but I just haven't been able to. Not to mention I have wanted to keep track of my travels for my own sake. Hopefully this one can bring you up to speed a little bit.
I am still in Hungary at the Summer Institute with the Halo Ensemble. Things are going well but there has been a tension this whole time between the ensemble and the festival. We are technically here as volunteers and our job assignment is to be "dorm parents" but the festival still needs a lot of help in the office and they look to us to get it done. It is great to be needed, but it is terrible when you can't provide the help necessary. As much as they need us to help, we need to be rehearsing. We are giving a concert on our own on Friday and really need to work on the music. So that has been very difficult.
On top of that, personally, if I know I have a move or something else important to do in a week, I start getting anxious to prepare for that thing, so my mind is pretty much already in Finland. So that tension is also present.
As a group a lot has been going on. We played in what's called a Creative Church service and it was a very powerful experience for those participating. It wasn't quite so powerful for me, but it was important in a different way. It was very significant for us as a group and for us to be used by the LORD despite the confusion and lack of preparation. We also learned afterwards that we may have the opportunity to make a cd with a therapist from Austria? Germany? So that is pretty exciting. We just hope it works out that way. We have also as a group had a chance to work privately with this therapist on improvising and worshipping in the Spirit. I personally had a very hard time with this. It brought up a lot of insecurities, but it seemed to be great for the group.
I think that is all I am going to say for now. In general it has been a great trip and again, like MasterWorks, I think I have grown, although not necessarily in ways I can pinpoint.
If you would like to keep me in prayer, I ask for thanksgiving to the LORD for His faithfulness and for prayer for my figurative heart because it seems to be in a couple of different places and I would like for it to return to me. Also pray for rest for me and the group. It is very busy and we are now starting to get very tired.
Thanks for being my friends and for being so wonderful. I do love you all and miss you very much. (Even if I am the only one reading this.)