I Told Jesus

I resent expectations.
I don't like it when people expect me to behave a certain way, or have a certain idea, or BE a certain way. I don't even know who I am or what I believe or how I think or what I'm going to do, most of the time. You shouldn't think you know who I am, either. Some days I'm happy, some days I'm sad, some days I'm angry, some days I'm numb. Some days I'm all of the above and more.

Also, it might be time for me to leave Muncie. It might be past time for me to leave. It's hard to say, hard to think about, and hard to stay.

Today has not been a particularly good day, clearly.
And yet, I know I have the support of my friends. And Jesus. I know He is on my side. There is music and there are people who love me ... without expectations ... that's how I know.

Today's my sister's birthday. Happy birthday, Holly!

(I think lower case js are so much cuter looking that capital Js)

At MasterWorks this summer, a husband and wife did a dance to this song. I cried. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The trust, the integration, how the two had become one, the message of the song. It was incredible.


I Told Jesus
Roberta Flack

I told Jesus
Be alright
If He changed my name
I told Jesus
Be alright
If He changed
Changed my name
I told Jesus
Be alright
Be alright
Be alright
I told Jesus
Be alright
If He changed my name

He told me
He said 'The world will turn away from you
Child, if I change your name'
Yes, He told me
Said 'The world will turn away from you
Child
If I change your name'
I told Jesus
Be alright
Be alright
Be alright
I told Jesus
Be alright
If He changed my name

Then He told me
He said 'Your father won't know you, child,
if I change your name.'
Yes He told me
He said 'Your mother won't know you, child,
Child, if I change your name.'
But I told Jesus
I said it would be alright
Be alright
Be alright
If my father turns away, now
And my mother turn away, now
Yes, my brother, my baby sister
Turn away
Turn away
I told Jesus
Be alright
If He changed my name
Changed my name
Changed my name
If He changed my name