Sufjan: love him, hate him, fight him, admire him

Some days I feel like the worst hipster ever, not that I am really trying to be a hipster, but having just looked up the definition of "hipster" in the Urban Dictionary, I pretty much am one. There is one core reason for my sense of detachment from the hipster movement at large, and that would be my relationship with Indie/Hipster darling Sufjan Stevens.
I have no idea how/when Stevens came on the scene. I can't remember who introduced me to him, either; which is most unusual. The first association I have with his music, however, are his two state albums Illinois and Michigan. My first response was "I can't believe he used midi oboe. This sounds terrible!" Then whoever it was that introduced me to this new soundscape informed me that he plays all his own instruments. For just a moment, that made me feel better, because I guess oboe is hard to play and sound good. Then I thought "This still sounds terrible!" His song "Chicago" from Illinois is referenced in a Snow Patrol song that I love. And people I know and love and who generally have impeccable taste love his music, but I just couldn't understand.
For a long time I would pretend to like Sufjan whenever he was being discussed, and I would coo and giggle over the state albums and be excited when there was talk of a new album, but when it was released, I would never do anything to procure a copy. I was surprised to eventually learn that one of my favorite David Crowder songs (for it's authentic approach to God's seeming absence) was originally a Sufjan tune off Michigan ("Oh God Where are you now? ...) and this seemed to give a little bit more legitimacy to his efforts, but I was still undecided. Then I heard part of his Christmas box-set and our relationship, Sufjan's music and mine, changed. First, I heard some new friends playing some of these new arrangements of Christmas classics and I was instantly charmed. They were inventive and innocent and difficult to sing along with because they were nothing like the originals but above all they were ... beautiful. I was so pleased when I learned they were actually Stevens' arrangements because now I actually did have an affection to back up my words with my friends. There's something about the new eyes with which Stevens sees these classics that I can understand. Music that comes straight from his brain, I cannot seem to grasp - we have no common ground in the functioning of our minds/understanding of music. But if the music comes from someone else's brain and Stevens reinterprets or reinvents it, I love it - we now have common ground.
The more investigation I have done into his music, the more messy my relationship with Stevens' has become. For the most part I think I can say I admire him. I don't think everything he does is gold or even a diamond in the rough. I feel okay saying this. I feel right and honest, and not the least bit dirty about it.
Even as I have been writing this post and thinking about this complicated relationship, I have been streaming his albums on Spotify and find this love/hate/admire relationship to be consistent. I seem to like his more recent work better, perhaps he has been practicing his oboe, or abandoned it completely and stuck with some different instrumentation choices. I have been impressed with the Shostakovich-like string part in the eleventh minute (that's right, the eleventh minute) of the original version of "All Delighted People" from his 2010 All Delighted People EP and I've heard references to classic Simon & Garfunkel in some of his lyrics. The man knows quality, clearly. Regardless of how I feel about his music-making, I have to respect his taste and his independence. His style is definitive and unique. You always know a Sufjan Stevens record and even his record label Asthmatic Kitty has a certain vibe to all its artists.
Here's the bottom line: I do not love the music of Sufjan Stevens, but I don't hate it either. That sounds like it could be the worst thing you could say to an artist. But it's certainly not a lack of reaction in this case either. I am not apathetic by any means. I merely relate to him as an artist in a deeply complicated and individual way. I have been in a continual struggle with my true response to Stevens until this point and I think the struggle ends here: I respect and admire him and what he does. I will probably break down and buy all of his albums at one point or another because they should be on every self-respecting hipster's iPod, but I will probably frequently skip over them and rarely be in the mood for them. Every now and again, though, they will hit the spot.
Except the Christmas albums, those will become a Christmas tradition in my house.
Speaking of Christmas, I am so ready for it to be here! Anyone else? Think it's too early to go caroling? Next July, I am going to get a group together to go Christmas-in-July caroling. Who's in?

Maybe Tonight

I might have a problem. I'm afraid I try to make people what I want them to be, instead of letting them be who they are or who they want to be. I was just looking through some pictures of friends on Facebook (of course) and it made me think that maybe they're afraid to be who they really are around me. And maybe I don't let them be who they are, because I want them to be something else. That's not very nice of me, now, is it? I don't do it on purpose. Maybe it comes out of pride. Because I value my image of them more than themselves. I hope I can pay more attention to this in my interactions with people. And hopefully that attention will cause whatever I'm doing to make them feel that way decrease. I judge too much, maybe. Yes, yes I do.

On a happier, but stranger, note. It's been feeling a lot more like Christmas to me lately. More so than it did leading up to Christmas. Way more so than it did on Christmas since we were in China, and Christmas there ... maybe they celebrate it, but it seemed like they really just decorated for it and then skipped over the celebration part. Then again, the orchestra spent all Christmas day traveling and playing a concert. We did have a party though. Probably the first Christmas I ever 1. peed in a hole (shortly after midnight, as part of a 6+-hour bus ride to Beijing) and 2. experienced salsa dancing. I wish I could say I actually salsa danced, but I didn't. Just wanted the rest of the orchestra. But still. First Christmas party I've ever been to where there was salsa dancing. Thanks Spain!

So I've been listening to Relevant Magazine's "The Drop" this evening. It's this great streaming service from their website. They choose an album every few weeks and stream the entire thing on their website for free. It's pretty great. Since I've been feeling pretty Christmas-y lately, I thought it apropos that one of the artists I found on this said website was Carl-Eric Tangen, whose album is reflecting on Advent and Christmas. So tonight's lyrics are from one of his songs. The picture is from Graz one night that Christian and I went walking. It was a delightful evening, if difficult.

Schlossberg in Graz on a winter night.

Maybe Tonight

Fair thee well
This cold, cold heart is down by one
Seafaring man
Such as my father said that you would come
Maybe tonight, maybe tonight

Angelic flight
Are you hovering o'er me tonight?
Cause I see the fog
Caused by my breath in the beam of a broken light
Sometime maybe tonight
Sometime maybe tonight

See the star
Shining brighter than anything before
Men from afar
And from the hills come running to sing along
Sometime maybe tonight
Sometime maybe tonight

You are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are the thing that reminds that I'm alive

And you are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are the thing that reminds me I'm alive
And you are the road that I travel down at night
Still you are my breath in the beam of a broken light
You are the thing that reminds me I'm alive
Maybe tonight, maybe tonight

Only at Christmas Time

I just want to share a quick story from my time in Graz. This is my favorite moment of the trip, I think.

I had mentioned in a previous post that Christian, Julie, Michael and I had returned from a Christmas movie marathon and decided to sing Christmas carols in four-part harmony. We happened to learn "Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming" fairly well and that became a staple of the rest of our trip.

The day after we spent that evening singing together, we walked to Christian's church after rehearsals. Our path took us through a little park in Graz (it's actually quite large) and while walking we decided to renew our singing. So here we were, four Americans walking through a park in Graz, covered with snow, singing "Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming" in four-part harmony. It was so fun. But the best part was that at one point a man who was out jogging happened upon us. He then slowed down and walked along with us while we sang. He began to hum along. Then our paths split and we went right while he went left. As he began his jogging again he thanked us and told us it was beautiful.

That moment really made me smile big smiles in my heart. I hope I always remember it. That's part of the reason I just wrote it down.

Houyue has been posting some videos on Facebook from the China trip and many have been posting their pictures from the trip. It's been great seeing everything and everyone again, even if it is only in 2D pictorial representations. Now that I'm a few days removed, I remember the trip fondly. Not the bathrooms, but the trip. And although I don't particularly care to ever return to China, I still have to smile and laugh when I think about all that went on. But my heart still aches for my friends. Luckily I get to see Michael and Angie tonight in Muncie!

Today's song was one that we heard at the Christmas party with Christian's ÖSM friends. We got to the party late, but just in time to hear Karin and Phil singing Sufjan Stevens Christmas songs which they had spent an hour singing in town earlier that day. I had never heard this one before and it has since stuck with me strongly. I really am so blessed and this world really is full of the most interesting people. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know all the ones I have had the privilege of meeting.

Time for some coffee with my friend Katie G. now!

Only at Christmas Time
Sufjan Stevens

Only to bring you peace

Only at Christmas time
Only the king of kings
Only what once was mine
It takes the end of time
It takes a long long time
Only one thought of mine
Only at Christmas time

He brings us peace
He brings us joy
He brings all thoughts to destroy
Only at Christmas time

To brings us peace
To brings us joy
To brings all thoughts to destroy
Only at Christmas time

Only at Christmas time
Only a tree to climb
Only at Christmas time
If you can read the sign
Only at Christmas time
Everything lost will find
Only at Christmas time
Only at Christmas time