a small lesson of the difficult type

So I made the mistake today of going back through my published reviews on RELEVANT. I didn't think it was a mistake when I made that choice. And I suppose it wasn't really a mistake until I decided to go all the way and read the responses to the albums. Turns out, I don't think the same things other people think. Lots of people got upset with my reviews and thoughts. Especially the one for Florence + the Machine. Whooee! And even though that one seems to garner the most negative feedback, I am pretty sure I still stand by my take on it. And I'm proud of that. I just hope I stand by it because I actually do and not just as a defense mechanism. I think it's because Florence fans tend to be pretty die hard, and the same for my most recent review of the new Miike Snow album.

The specifics aren't particularly important at this point though. What is important is the overall lesson I am learning here. You really can't please everyone. Sometimes you really can't even seem to please anyone. But if you (and when I say "you" what I am really trying to say is "me" or "I") do things with an intent to please people and not out of your own personal conviction, you open yourself up for all sorts of emotional attack - even when people aren't actually attacking you, but daring to disagree. Even if you do things with personal conviction, contrasting opinions can rock your conviction enough. I suppose this is why Shakespeare (it was him, right?) said "To thine own self be true." If you are true to your own self, even if no one else is on your side, at least you have yourself. But if even you betray yourself, you will find yourself quite alone ... even if other people do find themselves on your side. You are not even on your own side! Ack!

So as a lesson to myself I am telling myself that I am allowed to say whatever I want in my reviews - I can gush about its brilliance or lament its shortcomings - but the most important thing is that I believe what it is I am saying.

I'm hoping that's what I have done already, but I am now making a note to myself to be sure to do that intentionally every time from here on out.

Have any of you had to learn this lesson yet? How have you dealt with it? Thought about it? Approached it? Effectively implemented it into your life? What other hard lessons have you had to learn?